“Regardless of where a couple is on their recovery journey, Love Without Martinis is essential reading. Couples impacted by one or both partner’s recovery often struggle to find a path forward. Love Without Martinis provides a clear and practical approach that couples can implement to work towards peace, trust, and happiness. This book doesn’t just talk the talk. It also walks the walk in sharing moving, honest stories of real couples who have worked hard and found their way together. It is the rare book that both teaches and inspires.” —Lisa Smith, author of  Girl Walks Out of a Bar

 

“The author brilliantly balances her personal experience and well-researched information on this topic to create a much needed handbook appropriate in clinical settings and for the general public.  The ASCENT Model provides an organized and practical plan for goals and action towards healing. In the end, readers are left with hope and a sense of connection to stories of the couples who have supported each other in finding meaning along the often confounding road to recovery.” —Sarah Allen Benton, author of Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Breaking the Cycle and Finding Hope

 

Love without Martinis is brilliant! This is an important read for couples who are interested in  rewriting the story of recovering love together. This work gives life to the idea that addiction is not just  personal suffering, but a family issue that must be addressed by all parties involved.   This work is a long overdue resource for couples who are valiantly braving the work of recovering love and healing. Too often recovery books are centered on the individual rather than the relational dynamic—which for many is the most central part of their lives.  The ASCENT approach offers a skillful map of healing practices to guide couples in a dynamic journey of recovery in a way that is easy to follow and immediately accessible.” —Kathleen Murphy, Executive Clinical Director, Breather Life Healing Center

 

Love Without Martinis goes right to the soul of the haunting issues that couples in long-term recovery face and provides useful tools to overcome them. These strategies go above and beyond the actual substance abuse to tackle the underlying feelings of shame, fear, and guilt that so many of us grapple with. Forgiveness and love are always waiting on the other side, and Chantal shows us it’s all possible through these powerful stories of hard work and hope.” —Daphne Willis, singer/songwriter (Sony/ATV) of hit song “Somebody’s Someone”

 

“Sometimes we think that our relationships, if meant to be, shouldn’t need as much attention as our recovery, or our physical health or our work. This book dispels that notion and provides a straight forward and joy-filled set of practices and principles to grow our relationships. Kind of like  growing a garden, the tools in this book can function like sunshine, water, nourishment, weeding, and pruning to keep our relationships healthy and strong in recovery.” —Dr. Cassandra Vieten, Executive Director, John W. Brick Mental Health Foundation

 

Love Without Martinis captivate readers with dynamic case studies in the form of stories that demonstrate a clear systems approach to engaging loved ones in the recovery process.  This book is beneficial for all who face and treat substance use disorders!”—Dr. Gregory Hobelmann, M.D., Senior Vice President, Chief Medical and Clinical Officer, Ashley Treatment Center

 

“Finally a book to recommend to couples facing the debilitating effects of alcohol on their personal lives and relationships. We don’t always see the full picture ourselves, but we can often identify with stories. This book offers the unique opportunity to witness addiction and the journey of recovery through the lens of each partner’s experience in six very different couples.” —Dr. Megan Fleming, leading sex therapist and relationships counselor for national media including shows anchored by Anderson Cooper and Lawrence O’Donnell

 

“Unflinchingly honest and remarkably candid, Love Without Martinis invites us to grapple with the lessons of romantic relationships and recovery and to see that the point is not sobriety, since sobriety is never enough, but true recovery, which calls us to rebuild and re-ignite the passion and love in our relationships. —Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life

 

“Chantal Jauvin astutely explores addiction as a disease of emotional isolation. She captures the power of narrative to reveal the opportunity of committed relationship to deepen the recovery of the participants. The reader is offered a lucid lens into the essential building blocks of emotional intimacy. Couples can immediately apply the material to the construction of workable boundaries, the honoring of desire and to hold the tension of diverse needs and beliefs with compassion and generosity.” —Dr. Paul Dunion, author of Shadow Marriage: A Descent into Intimacy

 

“Love Without Martinis is an important and very readable book. The authors introduce the ASCENT Approach to support couples, helping them navigate some pretty rough waters that occur in intimate relationships when addiction occurs. Their approach is specific, manageable, and written by two authors who have earned their expertise through personal and clinical experience. Knowing that being vulnerable is one of the essential ingredients necessary for successful treatment, both authors are terrific role models.” —Dr. Dan Gottlieb, Host of  Voices in the Family and author of Letters to Sam and The Wisdom We’re Born With: Restoring Faith In Ourselves

 

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” So begins Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. With a novelist’s skill and precision, Love Without Martinis details the unique ways that six unhappy couples struggle with addiction and how their struggles enrich them with humility, courage, caring, and a wisdom that make them all more whole human beings. These stories are inspiring because they are true.  They show us that the work of recovery is soul work. This book will be a wonderful help to those in recovery, those who love them, and those who help them” —Dr. Rich Borofsky and Antra Borofsky, Co-directors, Center for the Study of Relationships

 

“I highly recommend this book to all therapists with clients in early recovery! The power of stories and the healing insights of these stories will help couples and individuals relationally repair core family systems. Love Without Martinis transcends not just substance abuse, but mental health as well.” —Michael Blanche, Co-Founder, Ethos Treatment

 

“Love Without Martinis contributes much to the field of addiction treatment, and particularly to the sensitive dynamics that arises in both the addict and their partner in early recovery. Each couple’s narrative highlights an important aspect of the need for transformation, change and a healthy social connection in the recovery process for couples. This book should be required reading in every treatment center!”—Dr. William Heran, CEO and Co-Founder, Providence Treatment Center

 

Love Without Martinis is vivid, detailed, nuanced, and evocative. Jauvin has a novelist’s eye and heart, and the language to express them. The stories would be meaningful for anyone in a long-term partnership, even one without addictive problems. For Jauvin to recruit these couples was a small miracle in itself (and their gift to us needs to be acknowledged). Then each account was structured for maximum benefit by Jauvin’s story-telling artistry. The ASCENT model, for organizing the change process, also makes a meaningful contribution. For a couple grappling with addictive problems, whether they embrace 12-step fellowships, methods such as SMART Recovery, or any other pathway, there is much to learn here.” —A. Tom Horvath, Ph.D., ABPP, Practical Recovery Psychology Group, La Jolla, California; Past president, SMART Recovery; author of Sex, Drugs, Gambling, & Chocolate: A Workbook for Overcoming Addictions (Impact, 2003)

 

“Chantal Jauvin and her collaborator Jeremy Frank have written a superb book in an area that has been neglected. They have developed a solid, useful outline for guiding couples through the process of recovering from addiction. The well-crafted ASCENT framework provides a clear, lucid orientation to navigating the difficult path to restoring a healthy relationship—or in some cases, establishing one anew. Jauvin is an exceptionally facile writer and the writing is never less than compelling, both in the opening formal chapters explaining the approach, and then in the stories based on interviews of people in recovery which follow. Each couple is treated with even-handed compassion, even when pointing out significant dysfunctional patterns of behavior. This is a very powerful contribution to the literature on couple’s recovery; clinicians will find it valuable, but its primary benefit will be to those couples in recovery who may recognize, in this description, many of their own dilemmas, and gain hope, perspective and tools to help them on their journey. Kudos to Jauvin and Frank!” —Dr. Mark Shenker,  author of A Clinician’s Guide to 12-Step Recovery (WW Norton 2009)

 

Love Without Martinis offers a unique and intimate look into a far-reaching but often unspoken about piece of the addiction recovery puzzle: The spousal relationship. As a society, we typically focus on the individual’s journey of addiction to recovery. The strain that alcoholism and addiction can put on a romantic relationship is apparent. While addiction recovery for the one is vital, the reconstruction of the couple’s relationship cannot be overlooked. With the ASCENT Approach, in conjunction with the book’s supplemental storytelling, Jauvin paints a clear picture of the impact addiction and alcoholism can have on both partners in a relationship, while offering practical actions that couples can take in order to support both sustainable recovery and a healthy, successful partnership.” —Zach Snitzer, Co-Founder, Maryland Addiction Recovery Center and Innovo Detox

 

Love Without Martinis is believable, at times personal; compelling, as well as psychologically nuanced and coherent. A particularly important contribution this book makes to the literature on recovery for couples is its description of the arc of recovery over years, often involving periods of relapse, disappointment, conflict, and emotional pain, which can also offer opportunities for growth and ultimately healing and real connection. Ms. Jauvin and Dr. Frank are to be commended for this wise and hopeful message to couples dealing with alcoholism and its discontents.” —Dr. Roger Cambor, MD, Bryn Mawr Psychiatry

 

Love Without Martinis shows couples how to address their miscommunication, rebuild their trust, and deal with the most troubling aspects of their relationships while they navigate their recovery. Based on my life-long study of human nature, psychology, and neuroscience, I believe the ASCENT Approach rightly focuses on self-awareness as a building block to develop a healthy partnership.” —Dr. Nicole Lipkin, Psy.D.,  Organizational Psychologist & CEO, Equilibria Leadership Consulting

 

As a married couple in long-term recovery, this book is a must-read. We’ve learned that our stories matter and we have a voice, that people need to take their “mess” and “make a message.”  Love Without Martinis offers practical tools to get couples back on track and inspire people out of their isolation. It encourages couples to look inwards, consider all options for recovery, and build a truly loving relationship. Marriage, partnerships, and recovery are constant works in progress and well worth the effort. Please don’t give up before the miracles happen.” —Tim Ryan, A&E’s Dope Man and Founder of A Man in Recovery;
and Jennifer Gimenez Ryan, model, actress (Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle Nun), reality television (The Bold and The Beautiful) and recovery advocate

 

Love Without Martinis clearly demonstrates how important our commitment to recovery and deep work is if we want to be true to ourselves and successful in our partnerships.  The couples in this book courageously share their personal stories with honesty and vulnerability no matter how challenging their journeys. Nothing is more powerful for healing than giving voices to our stories of recovery.” —Elizabeth Edwards,  singer, songwriter, and recording artist and recovery advocate

 

“As a couple, Andrea and I are well aware of the isolating effects a life of sobriety can potentially cause. Love Without Martinis reads like a refreshing tonic without the gin and reminds us we are not alone in our pursuit of long lasting love and recovery.” —Séan McCann, author of One Good Reason: A Memoir of Addiction and Recovery, Music and Love and Founder of Great Big Sea

 

“I highly recommend Love Without Martinis. I know first-hand the pain of relationship failure wrapped around substance use. I often say Trauma and Shame are the Gatekeepers to Happiness. The stories and tools in this book help you open the gates to long-term recovery from addiction.” —Brian Cuban, author of The Addicted Lawyer: Tales of the Bar, Booze, Blow and Redemption